Every now and then a little spice in a relationship is fun. If you are an adventurous couple, then floggers, paddles, crops or whips can be a fun addition in the bedroom. There so many things to know and look out for with flogging a partner. Before you get crazy, check these safety tips and information in the basics of flogging.
Using Floggers and the Like Safely
Comfort and Safety
Trust is the number 1 safety tip when it comes to using floggers. If you don’t trust your partner completely to keep you safe and comfortable then do not use a flogger with your partner. Flogging is no longer sensual and fun if you don’t feel safe, it is violence.
Talk with your partner before investing in a flogger, make sure they are comfortable with the idea of flogging. Decide who will be the dom and who will be the sub. Should you not be comfortable with being flogged or even the idea of being flogged, then do not agree to it. If you are to be the dom, make sure your partner is 100% on board with being spanked.
Create a safe word that will be used to signal a complete stop to all flogging activity. If you decide as the sub that you aren’t enjoying yourself, or the pain is too much, use the safe word to signal to your partner that you want to stop immediately. Choose a word that neither of you will forget but wouldn’t regularly be used during bedroom activities. If you are the dominate partner it is your job to listen to your sub. If they use the safe word, you must stop immediately. If you don’t stop when the safe word is used, the flogging is no longer fun for them, it is abuse. You will lose their trust and in turn may lose any future experimentation or even lose them.
Where Should I Hit When Flogging My Partner?
Floggers should only be used on the buttocks or upper thigh area. The fattier the area being hit, the less likely you are to cause any serious injury. You should not strike near any joints, or any organs (such as the kidneys) or bones that are close to the surface. Do not strike above the buttocks, you can damage your partner’s kidneys or spine. You should also not strike over major arteries or veins. Bruising either of these can cause blood clots or serious harm.
Bruising and Pain
Some people find bruising to be a fun reminder of their night of passion. That is fine as long as you only bruise the top layer of skin. Too hard and you may cause internal damage or bruising of the muscles or bones.
Determine your pain threshold before your partner gets too crazy. Doms, start off gently flogging your partner and gradually work your way up the pain scale until your partner determines their comfort. Once they have decided how hard of a flogging they are comfortable with, do not go beyond that unless asked to.
Depending on what you are using; floggers, paddles, crops or whips, bruising may be substantial or non-existent. Floggers will cause a little redness but depending on the softness if the material, generally won’t cause bruising. The more rigid the tool used for spanking, the more likely you are to bruise. Red welts are going to happen. If you have used a whip properly, a red welt should appear immediately after being spanked and the surface of your skin will bruise after that.
Spanking should never break the skin. If the skin ends up breaking, you have hit too hard or focused on the same place for too long. Stop immediately and clean the cut well and apply an antibiotic cream. Have your partner watch for signs of infection and seek medical help immediately if any signs of infection appear.
The Difference Between Floggers, Paddles, Crops and Whips
When you think of whips, do you think of the one Indiana Jones used? Those are incredibly hard to aim and use. When referencing whips, it is actually an umbrella term for any toys used for spankings. There are 2 classifications of whips, flexible and firm.
Floggers are usually made of leather or another soft leather-like material. They are essentially a whip with many “tails” which makes it a flexible whip. Floggers can have anywhere from 5-20 tails, what you use is a personal preference choice. A common type of flogger is a Cat O’ Nines which is a flogger that has exactly 9 tails. For beginners, usually choosing a flogger with shorter tails is the best because it is easier to control the strike.
The most common technique when using floggers is a “Figure 8”. Keeping your upper arm stationary while your forearm rotates the “Figure 8” movement will result in the most effective impact with the flogger.
Crops are a firm whip that have sturdy handles and an end piece that is usually made of leather. The middle is a longer covered plastic piece that allows spanking from a greater distance. Crops are difficult to use when you are very close together. Crops have intense blows that produce a slap on the skin. The pain from a crop is a quick sting but it does produce bruising and swelling. Be careful when using a crop to not hit too hard or repeatedly in the same place.
Paddles are a firm whip that have a handle and a large flat firm face that are used for spanking. The large, firm surface area of a paddle causes a stronger pain that lasts longer. Paddles will leave marks and bruises. Do not use a hard swing when using a paddle. Paddles present more dangers, even being used on a fatty area like the buttocks. If used to slap your partner too hard, you may bruise the muscle or even the bone. The bruising from a paddle may make it difficult to sit and will ache when you walk.
Any of the floggers, paddles, or crops can come with extra touches to add to your experience. They can have studs, or a decoration that leaves an imprint of a funky design. Shop around and find something you both like and are excited to try.
Post Spanking Care
After you have flogged or paddled your partner, you need to take care of them. Hug them, hold them, let them know you had fun and love them. Spanking may make them cry, as long as your sub is okay with crying then you haven’t crossed a line. Your sub will be sore for a few days. Some warm massage oil rubbed into the skin gently will help alleviate some of the pain. If you have accidentally broken the skin, keep the wounds clean and dry and be sure to apply an antibiotic ointment to it regularly and watch for signs of infection.
Using floggers can be a lot of fun when they are used correctly. Make sure both parties are comfortable. Identify your roles, rules and limitations before you start. Take care of your partner, listen to each other, stop if its too much. Have fun with it! Role play a little bit, maybe some naughty school girl action! Using a flogger doesn’t make automatically make you or mean you are a part of the BDSM community. Any couple can try this at home and keep it private. Experiment with it a little but stay comfortable and trust your partner!